Q's Mentor
by SalconeDestrivina
Summary: What it says on the tin...Q's mentor has come out to play... But to be fair MI6 started it.
1. Chapter 1

Q's Mentor

MI6 was in the process of being hacked.

Minions scrambled to find the intrusion while Q himself scrambled to throw up firewall after firewall to keep the intruder out.

Nothing was working. The hacker busted through all of the fire walls in their way and only then did anyone realize the hackers goal.

Q's computer.

"Well?"

"I do not understand! They have busted through all of my protections! But they aren't going after the MI6's server they are going after mine! And I don't keep anything on it!" Q almost screamed at M.

Suddenly the alarms were turned off and Q's screen showed a full screen command prompt.

C:\Users\Q: HELLO!

Q frowned at the screen then rested his hands on the keyboard. Then the conversation began.

C:\Users\Q: hello

C:\Users\N: There you go, now everything I type with turn up 'N' and you of course are Q :)

C:\Users\N: Figured it would be easier to keep track of the conversation that way.

C:\Users\Q: why did you hack my computer?

C:\Users\N: Oh that! well I had to get your attention somehow!

C:\Users\Q: And why would you need my attention?

C:\Users\N: I have something of yours :)

This sent a shiver up Q's spine. For Bond had been MIA for almost three hours and no one could get a hold of him no matter how much they tried.

C:\Users\Q: And what do you have of mine

C:\Users\N: Give you a hint, it's tall blond and likes to throw things.

Q's eyes narrowed at this, now he knew why no one could get a hold of 007

C:\Users\Q: And what do you plan on doing with him?

C:\Users\N: No idea, so far all Sally has been doing is glaring at me

C:\Users\N: Probably because he's tied up at the moment

C:\Users\N: Okay he's literally tied up

C:\Users\Q: Sally?

C:\Users\N: Yes, Sally, he refused to give me his name so I gave him one.

C:\Users\N: Also he refuses any water I try to give him

C:\Users\Q: he's trained to not take anything from an enemy.

C:\Users\N: Ah so he's one of your agents Q!

C:\Users\N: NOOOO! is this 007 that I've been hearing so much about?!

C:\Users\Q: Who are you?

C:\Users\N: THAT HURTS!

C:\Users\Q: what hurts?

C:\Users\N: COME ON! WHO ELSE CAN HACK YOU SO BAD THAT NOT EVEN YOUR CALCULATOR WILL LIKE YOU!

Q's mouth dropped open at that. To his knowledge there was only one person who could do such a thing. And thinking about it, given the chance, he would so totally hack him for little reason. But why did he set off the alarms?

C:\Users\Q: DAMN IT NEMO!

C:\Users\N: finally little bird!

C:\Users\Q: wait why did you set off the alarms?

C:\Users\N: thought it was only fair that I set off YOUR alarms after you had tall blond and lethal set off mine.

C:\Users\N: speaking of which why is one of your agents here to kill me?

Q went pale at the words on the screen, thinking back on the Bonds mission.

Bond had been sent out to acquire a computer that was EXTREMELY harmful to the crown.

A computer which belonged to Nemo.

Nemo who was the world's best hacker.

Even Q came up a sad second to the man he was currently talking too.

C:\Users\Q: I swear I had no idea that you were the one he was sent after.

C:\Users\N: I that I am VERY sure of. Tell your superiors that there is such a thing as ASKING and that I find them very rude.

C:\Users\Q: He is not amused. But what of the agent?

C:\Users\N: Oh Sally is still here glaring at me.

C:\Users\Q: He does that very well

C:\Users\N: Yes he does.

C:\Users\Q: Can we have him back?

Nemo sighed at the question and looked over to the corner of the room where 'Sally' was tied up. "So I have an issue here. Your boss wants you back. Which I don't really mind even though you would make a VERY interesting lawn ornament. But if I give you back to Q...yes I know who he is, you guys are going to want my computer..." He remarked as he leaned back in his chair. He successfully ignored the agent who was struggling against the ropes that bound him and glared even harder at the hacker. "Oh I know!" he grinned then began to type.

C:\Users\N: I'll just drop him off to you.

C:\Users\Q: Nemo

C:\Users\N: Nope final offer. That way MI6 cannot confiscate my computer even though i know none of you can actually get into it.

This made M laugh for he had been reading over the Quartermasters shoulder. "Won't he be surprised when our Q branch does exactly that!" He chortled making Q wince.

"Actually sir...we cannot."

"What do you mean 'we can't'?"

Q turned to glare at his boss. "If I had been privileged to Bond's mission I would have told you that this was a lost cause. Not only is Nemo the WORLDS BEST HACKER as he has shown us today. You know when he hacked MI6 in under half an hour, sounding the alarms HIMSELF. But I know for a fact that we cannot gain access to his computer and trying to destroy it would only set off several fail safes he had set in place."

M glared at the quartermaster. "So what do you suggest?"

"We let him leave or he will bring MI6 down around our ears. He has the capabilities for doing that. He could bring this entire country down to its knees with only a tablet and you want to make him angry?

"And how would you know all of this? It sounds as if you know him!"

"Of course I know him. He was my mentor." He said absentmindedly and turned back to the conversation at hand.

C:\Users\Q: That is acceptable though M wants your head.

C:\Users\N: which one?

C:\Users\Q: don't be nasty

C:\Users\N: AWWW! Come on! I haven't even heard from you since you decided to join the law side of things!

C:\Users\Q: Perhaps because it is that I am now a law abiding citizen and you are a hacker?

C:\Users\N: naw, i think you are just too busy ogling Mr. tall blond and lethal

C:\Users\Q: Actually he's too busy ogling me.

C:\Users\N: AND THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT!

Q did not hear from Nemo for two days after that, though 007 walked into the branch looking highly confused. But after a long talk which Q told him about Nemo being his mentor, seemed to understand just why he was still alive and not a blood splatter on the wall.

~~TWO DAYS LATER~~

"Ello Minat!" Someone said right behind Q making him jump and squeak.

Q turned to berate 007 [ because it was ALWAYS 007 that did that] when he found himself face to face with Nemo.

Which was exceedingly weird due to the fact that he was standing in Q Branch.

"LU!" He smiled and leaned back to take in Nemo's ever changing look.

Nemo was not tall, in fact he was bordering on being short. His hair had always changed colors when he was younger but it seemed that the hacker had settled on black this time around. Which only made his violet eyes stand out all the more. He was dressed as a punk rocker today complete with chains and spikes.

He looked good.

"I'm here to kidnap you." Nemo grinned and ran over to grab a sheet of paper off a VERY surprised minion and a marker off another. He quickly scribbled something on the paper and then stuck it to the door with a piece of duct tape stolen off yet another minion.

"Alright let's go!" he grinned and before Q could argue, dragged the quartermaster out of the branch.

* * *

"Where is Q?" Bond asked as he walked into the branch only to be pointed towards the door.

There was a piece of paper duct taped to the glass that said:

OUT TO LUNCH

IF NOT BACK BY FIVE OUT TO DINNER AS WELL

ALL QUESTIONS CONCERNS COMMENTS ARE

TO BE HANDED TO THE MINION TO YOUR IMMEDIATE LEFT

Bond frowned at the note then turned to find R standing at his left. "What the?"

"Some guy strolled in, scared the crap out of Q then kidnapped him for lunch...that's all I know..."

"One of these days something like this will not be considered 'Normal'"

* * *

Turned out that Nemo really did want to drag the quartermaster out to lunch and they had some very nice sushi and they talked about the old days. Well Nemo talked about the old days and Q tried to convince the man that 'no 007 is not Satan'.

After a very successful lunch Nemo followed Q back to MI6 and back to his office where he sat at R's desk and watched as the minions rushed around doing various tasks.

Finally he had gotten bored and went out to look for his friend, finding him in the gun range explaining a new model of the walther to Bond.

Who immediately drew it on him.

"See? Satan! Every time I see him he tries to kill me!" Nemo whined as the double O threatened him.

"Bond lower your weapon, he's of no threat to us." Q could see this is going to be a VERY long day. "Was there something you needed? I vaguely remember leaving you in Q Branch to do the people watch thing."

Nemo grinned and SKIPPED over to the quartermaster. "I was and I finally figured out what your minions remind me of! Ants! they scuttle around doing whatever pops into your mind!" Suddenly his eyes went comically wide and his mouth dropped open. "Oh if they are ants that makes you their queen!"

This made Bond laugh which he then tried to cover up with a cough. Okay he could see the appeal of the man.

"Very funny Lu isn't there something else that you need be doing?" Q asked making the man grin.

"Nope, I live to bother you dear heart." He grinned making Bond frown.

"Q..."

"Yes?"

"How did he get in here?" He asked.

Q sighed and leaned back, straightening his spine and tilting his head up towards the ceiling. "James, this is my mentor Lu...or Nemo. He is the world's best hacker and has had some tactical training as well...I would be surprised if he COULDN'T get in here. But before you ask, no he isn't a threat to anyone but me and even then it's only to my sanity..." Q stated and then jumped when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

"Crap Alex is in trouble..." He muttered as he ran out the door with his mentor and Bond chasing his heels.

"Alright 008 where exactly are you?" Q asked into his headset ignoring the men behind him.

"Hold on one of the other agents had one of those eye screen things..."

"That's great hold it near your communicator that way I can hack into it and see where you are going..."

Two minutes later they had an image of Alex on the screen, hair in disarray and a few blood splatters on his face. "Ooo, he's pretty." Lu said watching the man put on the eye screen and look around.

"Alright I am in an old castle, filled with agents, the corridors are lined with security cameras, I'm down to four bullets and their guns are weird, And i need to get to the basement...Any help?"

Q brought up the blueprints to the castle and started to talk when suddenly Nemo pulled the communicator from his ear, making him screech in protest.

"Hush you, Hello Alex my name is Nemo and I will be your tour guide. Now tell me, you are trying to get to the dungeon yes?"

"Um, Da.'

"Ooo I love the Russian...alright you just passed the conservatory yes?"

"Da."

"Alright now I want you to go back to the door of the conservatory, face west and move twenty feet down the hall and take two steps to your left."

Q and Bond stared at the man who took over the console and ran Alex through what seemed like a strange dance.

"Alright now what?"

"Do you see the stone shaped like a dented egg?"

"Da."

"Press the one right below it and then the dented egg then step back."

From the eye camera Nemo could see 008's hand reach up to do just that then he jumped back when the hidden door opened. "The hell?"

"That was is a secret tunnel built in the 1100's. They were under attack by the someone or other and the laird had that tunnel built as an escape route for his mistress...apparently he didn't like his wife all that much...now get in and close the door behind you. Your little blue dot is being attacked by four red ones...You know what Mikey this is kind of like live Pac Man..."

"How many times do I have to tell you? My name is not Mike."

"Yes it is."

"You'd think I'd know my own name Nemo."

"Yes you would think that wouldn't you? Alright Alec keep following the tunnel for about two leagues then take a left."

"Wait I've seen the blue prints for this castle and this tunnel doesn't exist."

"Alec it's an escape tunnel, one that is meant to be a secret tunnel...and you think it's supposed to be on the blueprints?"

"Alright that was a stupid question don't be snarky."

"Snarky is my middle name."

"Yea sure...alright issue i wasn't the first to come here...there are foot prints in the dust."

"Size seven?"

"Da."

"With a small heel?"

"...Da?"

"Yea ignore those, they were mine...don't look at me like that Mikey they had something I wanted. Or at least I thought they did...total waste of time. Anyway this tunnel comes out about eight leagues from the armory."

"How will the armory help me?"

"How many bullets does your gun have?"

"Fair point..."

"Mmm yea oh thank you Kira! See Mikey she brought me a cup of something! oh...it's tea... here you can have that...tea is gross..." Nemo remarked handing the cup over his left shoulder where Q stood.

"Alright I'm in the armory...yay guns!"

"Yes hurah hurah now there should be an iron maiden in the back corner of the room, left hand corner..."

"Yea...I hate those things."

"You and me both. Now open it and get inside." Nemo said then yanked off his earpiece at the screech. "Oh shut it you it's another passage way."

"Alright follow that tunnel take the first two lefts ignore keep heading forward for about a hundred leagues and then take the first right and the second left, you should be in the DUNGEON not the basement."

"Alright and who are you by the way?"

"Oh, I'm batman didn't you know? anyways do what you need to do down there then just follow the directions backwards to get out of there..."

Lu then handed off the ear piece to Q with a smile. "Now what do you do?"

Q smiled ignoring the stares from his minions. "Just make sure they don't die. Why were you there anyway?"

"Oh I'm still looking for them I thought they had information on their location but they didn't. OH! That reminds me I left a backdoor into their servers..."

Q gave a small smile and then slapped his mentor in the back of the head. "Well that was needless effort Nemo. This entire operation was to gain access to their servers...this was an entire waste of time."

"Well Alec did get to play in some secret tunnel."

"What ever."

* * *

The next day Alec came back to MI6 to turn in his equipment and was met with an unfamiliar face sitting at the desk. "Who the hell are you?"

"Batman...why?" Nemo asked giving him a small smile.

"Ah the guide...thank you for that by the way."

"You are very welcome."

"Strange question but how long have you worked here?"

"Oh I don't. I'm just visiting."

At that point 008 drew his gun to point it at Nemo.

Nemo yawned and pressed a button on the desk. "Q!" he whined. "Your Russian isn't playing nice! and why do you give them guns?"

"008 stand down, Nemo is allowed to be here, got permission from M himself. Only god knows how he did that."

"God had nothing to do with it. Any ways all the equipment is here minus one clip of bullets and his radio is...in pieces...how did you manage that?!"

"Magic, I'm Houdini."

"Ha, nice one...want to grab some dinner?"

* * *

On the other side of the speaker Bond choked on his coffee. "Oh is he barking up the wrong tree there."

Q frowned. "What do you mean?'

"Alec is strictly heterosexual...What did he just say?!"

"He said that he would love to grab some dinner with Nemo...you have to admit, my mentor is VERY pretty."

Q smirked from the edge of his teacup, his green eyes smiling at the man in front of him. "Besides, you can't know everything about everyone Bond..."

"I guess you can't."

* * *

"So why do they call you Nemo?" Alec asked as he sat on the desk across from the hacker.

Nemo looked up, large green eyes locking onto dark blue ones.

"Why Alec, it's because they are always looking for me." he said with a grin making the agent laugh.

"Good point."

* * *

**A/N: alright peoples should this continue or just keep as a one shot chapter? **

**Note: I have never played in the Bond universe so any questions concerns comments should be directed at me please...**


	2. NOTE

NOT AN ACTUAL CHAPTER! JUST UPDATING YOU ALL ON WHAT'S GOING ON!

alright peoples (I am assuming you are peoples) i have recently gotten a new computer but have almost no idea how to work it... it's a Toshiba and i've been using either a Dell or an Acer...plus it doesn't help that it has this weird windows thing going on...So yea

Trying to figure out the whole 'typing thing' on this one (Doesn't have microsoft word because it's very rude) so this is kind of a test run...sort of. So i'm going to have an update on almost all of my stories soon...ish soonish works kind of...Anyways Here's what i am hoping for

Accidental Daddy: updated by saturday

Q's Mentor: Who the hell knows i don't even know where to go from that one...ideas will be helpful

Stalker Tendacies: I personally apologize for leaving you all in a lurch when i suddenly stopped updating this story but DON'T PANIC! it has not been forgotten! Just held off while my head gets it's act together!

The Detective And The Artist: Updated by Saturday (Hopefully) and yes the plot bunnies are still there! they are still chewing up EVERYTHING!

That's pretty much all i have to say for the moment...as always if you want to see something just let me know!


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